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or at least the writers of American Pie. So I was at the mall seeing Talladega Nights this afternoon (yes, it was good enough I actually paid to see it twice). After the laugh fest, we made our standard stop in the food court for some grub. While sitting there eating my lunch, I was scanning to area for hot chicks like every guy when his significant other is not in sight. Low and behold, I saw one of the best looking MILF’s I’ve seen in quite some time.

The experience got me thinking. Where would I be today if the writers of American Pie had not introduced this amazing little word to the general population. It’s short, to the point, and universally understood by all. What kind of awkward catch phrase would we be using if this great word never existed. “Hot momma” or something along those lines just doesn’t have the same effect. It doesn’t flow off my lips the way MILF does.

Who would have thought that a four letter addition to my vocabulary would make such a difference. Once again, thank you writers of American Pie.

Yes it’s true. As crazy as it sounds I actually paid 13 American dollars to sit in a room full of people for 2 hours. And I didn’t even get a reach around out of it.

To make matters even worse, it was actually worth paying $13 to see a movie tonight. I did see Talladega Nights, which I am probably going to see again at some point this week as it was so funny, but that’s not even the reason why I found it worth my while to pay $13 for 120 minutes of my life.

We got to the theater, which is new and extremely nice, with the intent of seeing the 7:10 show for their normal ass raping of $10 a head. At the counter, we are informed that the 7:10 show was in the Director’s Hall theater and cost the additional 300 pennies. Partially out of curiosity and partially because we really didn’t want to wait another half an hour to see the movie, we accepted the higher fee.

Now what was amazing was the added service that you got for that 3 bucks. The seats were a little wider and there was much more leg room. They were leather and also seemed to recline a bit farther. The arm rest between the seats was able to fold up so you could cuddle up with your date. They actually went far enough to put extra padding under the bottom of the arm rest and between the seats for comfort.

There were at least 5 employees in the theater at all time. 2 people’s soul purpose was to escort you to you assigned seats that you picked out from a seating chart when you bought the ticket. Another person was manning a snack cart at the bottom of the seats with soda and candy. Then there were 2 girls walking around with PDA’s taking food and drink orders (for no additional fee compared to the already outrageous movie food pricing). They carried a change belt with a little bluetooth printer to give you a reciept on the spot. The order was then sent to the concession stand and some random employee delivered it to your seat. At the height of all this fanfare, there were nine cinema employees in the room. A little nuts if you ask me.

Now here is the crazy part. I’m not sure what is worse, that I actually paid $13 for a movie, or that I was so fascinated by the experience that I put in the time to write it all down…

By the way, Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is by the far the funniest movie I have seen all year. I highly recommend seeing it as soon as possible.